


The Thanks You Get

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [36]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Joker - Fandom
Genre: Accounting, Explosions, F/M, Go Fish, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Revenge, Smut, nonabusive Joker and Harley Quinn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:15:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27186439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Archie has a problem that Joker and Harley offer to solve.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Gotham Nights [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/551110
Comments: 7
Kudos: 22





	The Thanks You Get

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RoyalFlushGang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyalFlushGang/gifts).



> For one of my favorite people in all the world who isn't having a very good week. I hope this makes you smile :)

The room, one of the henchmen rec rooms at Joker’s and Harley Quinn’s hideout, was quiet. 

Eyes narrowed, glaring over the top of her cards, Harley watched Joker. She was sure he was bluffing...at least she thought he might be bluffing. He had a really good poker face. Joker was examining his cards, looking down his long nose, his red lips pursed in concentration, smoke slowly rolling from his nostrils. Her eyes narrowed further. That jerk had no right to be looking so sexy either. 

Joker was leaning back in his seat, one leg crossed, his ankle resting against his knee so that if Harley lifted up a bit, she could see the black and purple striped socks he was wearing with his black and white oxfords. He had on a pair of his favorite purple pinstripe pants, with a blood red shirt, and red and purple suspenders. At some point during the game, he had removed his bow tie and opened up his shirt, the first four buttons revealing just enough of his ghost white throat and chest while holding the filter of his cigarette between his teeth...all of it designed to make Harley wet. Then...And then he had the nerve to remove his matching jacket and roll the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows on top of everything!! 

The bastard. 

He was doing it on purpose. She knew he was always doing that shit on purpose, always doing something to make her want him, and right now the way he looked made her wiggle a little in her seat. Of course she had tried the same tactic of distraction by wearing a red latex bodice dress that Bob had made for her. She knew the dress was working because Joker’s eyes had gone right to her breasts when she’d stepped out in the dress. She had even worn her hair down, curling softly around her shoulder like her puddin liked. She had painted her lips a deep, shiny cherry red to make her teeth stand out white when she smiled, but it wasn’t enough to distract him. Somehow he was winning. 

Turning her attention away from Joker, Harley glanced at Frost who was sipping from his bottle of beer, his cards face down on the table. He looked as he always did, wearing his black suit and red tie, but he definitely seemed more relaxed than he used to be. Next to him, Ecco looked adorable in a pair of capri jeans and a pin sweater, her hair pulled back from her face in a ponytail. The other woman had her hand on Frost’s thigh--or she was doing something else under the table--but considering how Frost’s expression hadn’t changed much, Harley surmised it was probably just her hand on his knee. But they did look so domestic!! It was so cute!! Harley just wanted to squish their faces together and make them kiss! 

Harley’s gaze moved from the lovers over to Bob. 

Bob was drinking from his bottle of grape soda and eating cheese puffs while grinning happily at everyone, his cards on the table face down. Tonight Bob looked as if he had stepped out of a production of Swan Lake with a white and gold tutu outfit that had swan feathers (fake she guessed, but who knew) and two embroidered gold and ivory swan heads meetings on this chest. He even had a gold and tulle crow on his bald head. 

Joker slowly looked up from his cards, his eyes meeting Harley’s eyes across the table. He smiled slowly, lowering his cards. “Go Fish,” he said with a wink before taking his cigarette out of his mouth. 

Growling, Harley sat back in her chair as she continued to glare at him. 

“Aww...now don’t be like that sweets….” Joker’s tone was sweet, but he was smirking at her. 

“You’re cheating,” she declared. “I don’t know how, but you are!” 

Ecco glanced over looking confused. “What?” 

Frost shrugged. “The Boss always cheats Miss Quinn.” He said it with that matter-of-fact tone of someone who had given up trying to play cards with Joker and was only here for the company and the beer. 

“I know.” Harley stuck her tongue out at Joker who stuck his out at her in return. “One of these days I’m going to figure out how you do it too, puddin. Just you wait!” She pointed a threatening finger at Joker before pointing at her eyes and pointing at Joker again. 

Joker laughed and leaned his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together to set his chin on top of them. He grinned a cheshire cat grin at her with the wicked glint in his eye, the evil twist to his smile that made Harley want to bite her bottom lip and groan with complete, wanton lust. That smile of his had blood coursing right down to her groin and he knew it! 

That bastard clown knew exactly where she wanted him to put that smile, Harley could tell by the look in his eyes. He dropped his voice to a low seductive tone, his blue eyes sparkling under his green brows. “Maybe if you seduce me, I’ll tell you my secrets.” 

Harley opened her mouth, about to reply with something scathing, when Archie walked into the room. 

Everyone turned to see the short clown wasn’t dressed in his usual white and pink polka dot clown outfit, makeup, neck ruffle, and pointed hat. Instead Archie was dressed in a dull grey suit, an old grey suit by the look of it Harley thought with confusion. Archie was also wearing a white, sweat stained dress shirt, suspenders, and a blue tie. He had his jacket flung over his shoulder and a bottle of tequila in his other hand. 

Everyone started as he stopped in the middle of the room and said mournfully, “I lost my job.” 

The room was silent until Joker asked loudly while pointing at Archie. “Who is that?” 

* 

Harley hurried over with a large cup of hot coffee and handed it to Archie where he sat on the couch between Joker and Frost. The short man didn’t look happy about the coffee, but he took it. 

They had all moved upstairs to Joker’s and Harley’s living area so that they could comfort Archie and find out what had happened. 

On one side of Archie sat Joker--who looked confused--while on the other sat Frost, with Ecco sitting on the arm of the couch behind Frost, her hands caressing Frost’s shoulder. Bob was standing behind Archie and rubbing his shoulders gently. 

Joker cocked his head, staring at Archie, his eyes narrowed, asking for the hundredth time. “Are you sure this is Archie?” 

“Yes puddin--now stop asking,” Harley reprimanded him before sliding onto Joker’s lap. He grinned and wrapped his arms around Harley’s waist, pulling her closer and setting her on his lap in just the right spot to cause him to bite the inside of his cheek, his eyes fluttering for just a moment. 

Frost glanced at the Boss shaking his head before he asked Archie. “So, what happened exactly?” 

They had asked him earlier, but Archie had been three-sheets-to-the-wind, incoherent, and throwing himself on Joker’s feet, begging the Clown Prince to kill him. Joker had been too confused to kill Archie, having no idea who the little bald man was even after repeatedly being told. Now that Archie was more sober, Joker and the others were hoping for a more coherent answer, even if Joker still wasn’t sure who this man was. 

Archie sipped the coffee, made a bitter face, and sighed. “The accounting firm I work for decided to downsize. My entire department was let go, fired. I’ve been there for the last fifteen years and this is the thanks I get…” Archie grumbled. “I know why too...to pay for the fucking CEO’s Christmas bonus…” Archie ended his sentence with a heavy sigh, his shoulders, his entire body drooped, seeming to slide right off the couch. 

Frost shook his head. “That’s bullshit…” 

Harley nodded frowning. “That’s unfair!” 

Joker looked between Frost and Harley. “Accounting?” 

Harley nodded. “Yeah, it's Archie’s day job.” 

Joker frowned, his green brows coming down in confusion. “Why would Archie be an accountant? He’s a clown. We really should go find him because this guy...” He pointed at Archie who was staring into his coffee cup. “... is badmouthing him saying that Archie likes numbers!” 

Harley groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically. “Oh my god puddin! How long are you going to carry this joke out?” 

Joker grinned brightly, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he said in a dull, yet serious tone. “What joke?” 

“UGH!!” Harley hopped off his lap and walked across the living room and into their bedroom disappearing. Joker’s gaze followed her, twisting around on the couch to watch her ass move in that vinyl dress she was wearing. He waited until she had disappeared into the other room before turning back around and grinning at everyone as he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “What’s wrong with her?” 

Ecco snickered, but Frost sighed ignoring the Boss’s question, focusing back on Archie. “So your entire department was let go to save money to pay the company's CEO…” 

Archie nodded. “Yeah, I know it’s the truth because while I was cleaning out my desk I did a little snooping on my computer and found the emails discussing how many employees they could let go without drawing attention to the company.” 

Harley came marching back into the room, her makeup bag in hand. She didn’t say a word to anyone as she sank down to her knees on the floor in front of Archie. She yanked open her bag and pulled out some white clown makeup and began to apply it to Archie’s face. The sad clown didn’t say a word, just let Harley do what she was going to do. 

Joker looked over at Frost. “What’s she doing?” 

“No idea Boss,” Frost replied though he was pretty sure he knew what Miss Quinn was doing. Everyone was silent for the next couple of minutes until Harley dumped her makeup back into her bag and stood. “There!” She pointed at Archie while glaring at Joker. 

Archie looked up. 

Joker squealed like he’d seen a ghost, his hands slamming against his chest as if he were trying to keep his heart inside. “ARCHIE!! How to the fuck did you do that??” Joker looked around frantically nearly coming up off his seat. “Did you guys see that? He just appeared!!!” Joker gasped loudly and dramatically, his voice dropped to tones of awe. “He’s magic...” 

Harley groaned loudly as she marched back out of the room to return her bag to the bedroom yelling over her shoulder. 

“You’re ridiculous!!” 

Joker snickered and wiggled in his seat with pleasure for a moment before he turned his attention to everyone in the room. “She loves me,” he said while wrinkling his nose playfully and smiling happily before he addressed Archie. 

“So, want to get some payback?” Joker rubbed his hands together. “I love payback.” 

Archie looked over at Joker, his expression a combination of surprised and hopeful. “Really?” 

“Sure! Why not? You’re one of us!” Joker smacked the small man on the back hard enough that he almost knocked Archie off the couch. 

“We could do something fun like…” Joker leaned back into the corner of the couch, crossing his legs as he tapped his long narrow chin with one long pale finger in thought. “Mm...let’s see...gas the place? Fun, but done. We could set some traps in the building, which are always fun, but once one is sprung the rest of the rubes tend to get more cautious and then it takes forever to kill them, then Batsy shows up and starts mouthing off…” Joker dropped his voice to a deep growl bringing up one hand besides his face making mouth movements with his fingers while he spoke. 

“You’ve killed people Joker, you’re going to jail, or Arkham, I don’t really care once I beat the shit out of you and tie up, dropping your ass in front of the prison. I clearly have to beat you up Joker or I can’t get an erection. Catwoman gets really upset about it too...” Joker chuckled clearing his throat and bringing up his other hand, moving his fingers as he talked in a high pitched voice, this hand addressing the other. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you and your sadomasochist fascination Batman.” 

Joker’s voice became deep again. “Can you dress like a clown?” 

Harley came strolling back into the room her good humor restored. “Ugh puddin! Stop that!” She laughed and shuddered. 

Joker giggled, his two hands turning to look at Harley. “I can’t help it if Batman thinks I'm pretty.” “I’m going to kill Batsy if he looks at your ass. That ass belongs to me,” Harley muttered before adding. “How about we blow his boss up?” 

Joker’s eyes brightened and he clapped his hands. “Oh Harley, we could blow up an entire building! When was the last time we did that?” He turned to watch her progress across the room, his eyes on her hips in the red vinyl dress. 

Harley came over and flopped down on Joker’s lap again. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her more snuggly against him, once more settling her on his lap in a way that made him want to cross his eyes. His gaze caressed over her, clearly appreciating the way the dress hugged her figure. Smiling, Harley instantly forgave him for being annoying earlier. 

“It’s been too long, puddin,” she purred and caressed his jaw with one hand while she played with the short hair at the back of his neck with the other. 

Joker sighed leaning into her touch. “It has sweets. Remember when we started that fire at the construction site?” 

“Oh! Or when we set that explosion off in the new wing of the hospital?!” Harley added with a giggle. “That was so funny because they hadn’t even cut the ribbon yet.” 

Joker nodded giggling. “Oh, oh, remember that chocolate factory, the one that made those horrible tasting chocolate bars with our names on them?” 

Harley nodded, a smirk on her face. “All that melted chocolate in the streets...Gotham never smelled better.” 

They both laughed while Joker wrapped his arms around Harley to give her a squeeze. “Oh yes, yes, we need to blow up your accounting building!” Joker grinned at Archie. “The entire building simply has to go!” 

Archie didn’t smile, but Harley could sense that his mood had lightened a little. “I don’t know if I want to kill everyone in the building, but Mr. Chester Bright, the CEO of Bright Accounting Firm...I wouldn’t shed a tear if that man was dead and I know most of the firm would be happy to see him gone too…” 

Joker pouted. “We can’t blow up everyone?” 

Archie shrugged while Bob moved from rubbing his shoulders to massaging Archie’s bald head. “I mean...sure...you can, I suppose, but the people who are still there at the firm aren’t really at fault…” He turned his coffee cup slowly in his hands. “But Chester Bright and the board…” Archie nodded to himself. “Taking them and their stupid building out…” He didn’t exactly smile, but there was a momentary tugging at the corner of his lips. Frost wondered if the short man’s face would crack if he actually smiled, or if he even could smile. 

“Then that is what we’ll do,” Joker affirmed with a grin before he nuzzled Harley. 

Giggling, Harley looked at Archie. “So, we just need to figure out when they are all there at the building, but it’ll have to be at night if you don’t want us to blow anyone else up…” 

Archie looked over at her, his expression dull and depressed as always, but he said softly. “They are having a party there tonight. Celebrating the firing of everyone I’m going to guess, but the catering was coming in while I was leaving.” 

Harley’s eyes widened. “Puddin, did you hear that?” 

Joker, who was distracted with nibbling on her throat while his fingers began to lazily trace the collar of her dress, muttered against her skin. “I did. I love parties!” Joker ran his fingers over the tops of her breasts. “Ask Frost if we have enough explosives to take down a building on short notice.” Joker didn’t look up from his nibbling when he spoke, one finger sliding between Harley’s breasts causing her to giggle, goosebumps rising across her skin at the same time. 

She opened her mouth, but Frost answered without her having to ask the question. “I think so Boss, if not enough to bring the building down, enough to destroy an entire floor at least.” 

Joker purred, catching the lobe of Harley’s ear with his teeth and making her giggle again as he tugged playfully before letting go and turning his attention to Frost. 

“Well, what are we waiting for!!” Joker stood up, almost dumping Harley onto the floor only to catch her up at the last second and lift her off her feet as he stood. “We’ve got some revenge to take!!” 

“Can I be in the building when the expl…” Archie began, but Joker cut him off. 

“No.” 

Archie sighed even as Bob continued to rub his head. “Fine.” 

* 

Chester Bright grinned while sipping from his glass of champagne. Tonight was indeed a celebration. With the firing of over two hundred people, he had saved Bright Accounting, he had save the company millions of dollars, most of which was going right into his pocket and the pockets of the accounting firm’s board members, which was why they were having the party. This was a moment to celebrate. He had been the one able to put his big boy pants on and do the job no one else had wanted, and now… 

Chester smirked, his gaze slowly roaming over the party, good booze, paid for women, lots of drugs, and no end in sight. It was going to be a good year after all, he thought. The entire board was here (without their wives or girlfriends), it was a party just for them. Chester was thankful once more that Bright Accounting hadn’t gone the way of other accounting firms and put some women on their board of directors or they wouldn’t be able to have a party like this one. 

He finished off his glass of champagne and headed over to one of the glass tables in the room where Donny Green was bent over snorting a line of cocaine while some hooker rubbed his back. 

“Save some for the rest of us Donny.” Chester laughed as Donny came up grinning and gave him the finger. 

Chester made his way over to one of the chairs and flopped down. The moment he was seated two of the women he had bought for tonight waltzed over and draped themselves around him. 

Chester grinned. It was good to be king...or at least CEO. 

* 

Joker and Harley burst out of the elevator, guns in hand, but there was no one on the sixteenth floor. Harley was wearing her vinyl red dress still, with a pair of matching red vinyl boots that came up to her thighs while Joker had simply flung on his suit jacket and his purple trench coat, not bothering with his tie. 

They both came to a stop looking around the darkened office space. 

Joker frowned at the darkened floor filled with little cubicles made from moveable panels, all with little computers on tiny desks, every single one almost identical to the other. It was horrible. 

“Ugh this place makes me what to kill myself.” Joker stuck his tongue out as if he were gagging followed by him shuddering all over in as dramatic a fashion as possible “It’s horrible, this would be hell. No wonder you quit.” Joker turned to address Archie as the little man walked out of the elevator, now in his clown suit, along with Frost, Bob, and four new guys who had recently joined the 

Joker team. Those four were the designated bomb carriers, were all carrying the explosives in duffle bags over their shoulders, two bags of explosives for each new recruit. 

None of them looked really thrilled to be there. 

“I didn’t quit, Boss. I got fired,” Archie reminded Joker for the thousandth time since they had arrived at the building with a long, drawn out sigh. Archie looked around with a forlorn expression before muttering, “I hate this place.” 

The gang had already killed the night guards, propping them up behind their desks like puppets, (who just happened to have holes in their heads and chests), and one nighttime janitor who Archie had said stole his bottle of booze that he kept in the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet. Joker had given the janitor an acid blast from the carnation on his lapel, leaving a gooey mess in the hall. He had laughed and said that there was a mess and they needed the janitor! “Clean up on aisle ‘gross!’” 

Harley looked around the floor with a frown at the dull greys and whites colors mixed with the occasional greyish blue was enough to make her nauseous. “I can’t believe you worked here Archie.” 

Archie shrugged. “I thought a few years here would help me, give me a goal, a purpose, but it only made me want to throw myself out of the window more. I almost did once…” He sighed again pointing at the windows. “Course, Robbie succeeded before me and the company made all the windows so they won’t open now…” 

“Heartless bastards.” Harley shook her head, but she was smiling. 

Frost was busy giving directions about the placement of the explosives when Joker looked up at that ceiling. They could all hear the dull thud of music beating down from above them. 

“That the party up there?” Joker asked, though most of his attention was on Harley who had bent over to place one of the explosives after snagging it from one of the new henchpeople. She had her rear in the air and the dress clung to her like a second skin, grabbing what little light there was in the room and reflecting it just enough that the glow showed off her curves. She was also wearing a shoulder holster for her gun. God, that turned him on so much when Harley wore her guns and then whenever she shot someone...He pressed his teeth longingly into his bottom lip and wondered if she was wearing anything under that skin-tight dress. 

“Yeah, that’s Chester’s floor, his office is up there along with the boardroom. That’s probably where they are having their party. As far as I know, that floor doesn’t have any security cameras so they can pretty much do whatever it is they want up there,” Archie muttered, taking one of the explosives and putting it under his old desk. 

Joker grinned and grabbed Archie when the little man stepped out of his old cubicle and put his arm around Archie’s shoulders. “I think…” He crouched down next to Archie, balancing on the balls of his feet, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “...that the three of us should head up there real quick, don’t you Harley?” He glanced over at Harley as she stood and turned toward him lifting a quizzical eyebrow at her puddin. “I mean, don’t you want them to know it's you who are blowing them to kingdom come, Archie old buddy, old friend?” Joker grinned at Archie who tilted his head. 

“I...suppose that would be...fun?” 

Joker laughed and gave Archie a loud, wet kiss on the cheek while squeezing his shoulders at the same time. “That’s my clown!” 

He stood up, putting his arms out to Harley. “Harley my sweet, shall we go to a party?” 

Harley squealed, hurrying over to Joker (which in the tight dress required a lot of wiggling) and threw herself into his arms. 

Joker covered her mouth in a kiss, holding her close as he lifted her off her feet and started to walk blindly in the direction of the elevator while carrying her. 

Archie watched them for a moment as the two of them stumbled into the elevator after Harley reached behind her to blindly hit the button for the doors to open. Joker stumbled in carrying her when the doors slid open, then shoved Harley up against the back wall of the elevator once they were inside. They continued to kiss, Joker pressing his body against hers. 

Archie frowned and glanced over at Frost who looked back at him and said, “Stairs?” 

Archie nodded. “Stairs.” 

* 

When the doors closed behind them, the cheery elevator music began to play, but Joker was too busy running his hands down Harley’s sides, feeling the round firmness of her shape in the vinyl dress, a delight for his fingers. His entire body was on fire as he pressed up against her, his erection hard and throbbing now that he had his hands on his wife. He only pulled away from her mouth long enough to ask in a whisper. 

“So what are you wearing under your dress?” 

Harley smirked at him, reaching around him to hit the button that stopped the elevator between floors. “Wanna see?” 

Joker’s eyes glittered with anticipation. “Oh yeah, I wanna see.” 

Harley put her hands on his shoulders and gently shoved him back from her. He took two steps back and watched as Harley reached under her dress. She somehow managed to reach under her dress without lifting it up too much, then shimmied her hips. He watched, licking his lips, his heart pounding into his groin as she slipped something down her legs. 

It took him a moment to realize it was a thin, lacy pair of red thongs that dropped to her ankles. She reached down to step out of the panties and held them up, hooked around her finger, a seductive smile on her red painted lips as she swung them around her finger. 

Giggling, Joker licked his lips. “Well...now you’re not wearing anything at all under that dress are you?” 

Harley smiled slowly, licking her upper lip. “No I’m not puddin...feel like coming over her and getting a little frisky before we kill a bunch of assholes?” 

Joker stepped closer to take her panties off her finger and hold them to his nose for a moment. He inhaled with a grin, his eyes fluttering before he stuffed the thong into the pocket of his slacks. 

“Mm...the thought of a big explosion makes me want to have a big explosion.” He chuckled as Harley groaned. 

“That’s awful puddin!” 

Joker gathered her up in his arms nuzzling her neck, his tongue sliding against her skin up to her ear. “Yeah, but you thought it was funny didn’t you?” 

Harley giggled, closing her eyes and smiling, loving the feel of his lips against her throat. “Oh yes…” 

They kissed, their tongues twisting and sliding against each other while Joker reached down and began to pull her dress up. 

Harley purred, reaching down between them to slide her fingers along his bulge. A shiver raced down her spine which she felt how hard he was for her already. Breathing a little raggedly while their tongues twisted together, Harley squeezed him gently, making Joker grunt with pleasure. He pulled away from her mouth, caught her bottom lip with his teeth to tug gently before whispering, 

“I love it when you touch me Harls…” 

Harley groaned squeezing him again. “I love your cock, I love it when you’re hard for me,” she hissed against his lips. She squeezed again, followed by her fingers tracing the side and width of him through his slacks, making Joker jerk and moan with pleasure. 

With growing excitement, he began to pull her dress the rest of the way up to her waist. His hands moved greedily over her skin once the vinyl was out of the way. His hands, fingers spread wide, glided along her hips, and he was glad he hadn’t put his gloves on tonight because he enjoyed how warm and soft Harley’s skin felt under his touch. One hand slipped between her legs while Joker brushed his nose against hers and whispered. “Are you wet for me Harls?” 

The moment his fingers touched her, Harley gasped, arching a little into his touch, followed by a deep groan when his fingers pressed against her clitoris a little more firmly. He always knew just how to touch her. 

“Mm...you are wet pumpkin.” Joker caught her lips with his and tugged gently. “I like it when you're so gooey and slick,” he purred while his fingers slipped and glided expertly against her, applying pressure or giving teasing strokes with just the right amount of pressure that Harley banged her head back against the elevator wall, panting. Joker’s touch quickly brought her to climax, causing her to rise up on her toes for a moment as the tension built and burst like an erotically charged bubble. She only barely resisted the urge to squeeze him too tightly when she came. 

She moaned loudly. “Puddin….!” 

Joker groaned as her touch did tighten slightly on him, but his groan turned into a chuckle followed by another breathy groan when Harley squeezed him more gently. “You like it when I touch you pumpkin?” he purred, rubbing his nose against hers, his eyes bright, his fingers now even slicker with her juices. 

“Yes,” Harley hissed. “Oh yes…” 

Dragging his tongue along her jaw and down her throat Joker answered her by thrusting his fingers into her a little harder. Harley nearly climbed up the wall as pleasure vibrated through her body at her husband’s touch. While he thrust his fingers into her, Harley worked to open his slacks. Her fingers fumbled a little each time he thrust his fingers to his knuckles into her. Harley shivered and groaned, answering his finger thrusts back with the thrusts of her pelvis. After a few seconds that seemed to last forever, she finally had his pants open. She yanked at his slacks and boxers trying to pull them down, only belatedly remembering he had suspenders on. Letting out a frustrated groan that made Joker chuckle against the pulse at her throat, Harley fumbled for the suspenders, finally unhooking them. She yanked his pants down with a growl as she reached for his erection. 

When Harley’s hands wrapped around his throbbing length, Joker groaned deeply, dropping his head against her shoulder. “Harley…” He groaned her name low and deep, shuddering with the pleasure of her touch. 

Harley smiled, cupping his balls and stroking her hand along his shaft, shivering with erotic pleasure at the feel of the satin soft skin of his shaft. He felt hard and thick and she loved touching him, loved the way he felt. Squeezing his balls again, Harley purred. “I want you puddin...I want you to fuck me hard and fast…” 

Joker rubbed his nose against her throat, pressing kisses to her skin. “Harley…” He groaned thrusting his fingers into her before he suddenly pulled them away. Harley let out a whimper, but Joker grabbed her leg to hook it over his arm, forcing her to balance on the ball of her other foot while he thrust into her. 

Harley cried out, pressing herself back against the wall, her hands grasping his shoulders. The feel of him burying himself inside her sent waves of delight rolling through her. As he thrust faster, she swore stars appeared in front of her eyes. She gasped, holding on tightly to her lover, covering his mouth with hers, her tongue plunging into his mouth even as Joker lifted her other leg and thrust into her again. She let out an erotically agonized groan of pleasure. He adjusted his hold on her, spreading her legs a little wider, her knees hooked over the crooks of his elbows and thrust, pounding her back against the elevator wall. 

Harley pulled back to grab his face between her hands and look into Joker’s gorgeous blue eyes while he fucked her. Their lips hovered a hair’s breadth apart, their panting mixed together while Harley caressed his long, pale face with her thumbs and fingers, her body sliding up and down against the wall as Joker thrust into her. 

“I love you puddin,” Harley moaned, brushing her nose against his long, pointed one. “I love you.” 

Joker chuckled while he thrust, bending his knees a little and burying himself inside the woman he loved. “I love you pumpkin poo...you’ll always be my girl.” He groaned and bit his bottom lip; his expression almost looked painful. “Uh...Harley…” 

“Puddin…” Harley held on tightly to him, her body tensing. As he thrust harder, Harley whimpered and kissed him. She kissed him the moment she felt the building pleasure crest and explode, sending bursting bubbles of pleasure through her body and over her skin. 

The elevator was filled with the sounds of their fucking, Harley’s body banging against the wall, the jingle of Joker’s suspenders and trenchcoat each time he thrust into her, and the sounds of their panting breaths. 

When Joker felt her cum, felt that tightening of her body around his erection, he hissed and thrust a little harder, a little faster until his orgasm ripped from him in a burst like a hot flash and washed over him, causing his body to shudder and his knees to feel wobbly. 

He thrust for a few more seconds, unable to stop himself. Harley responded with whimpers and gasps, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face against his neck. “Uh puddin…” 

Slowly Joker’s thrust calmed. He gently lowered her legs to the floor again, reluctantly sliding out of her. 

Shivering Harley pulled him closer, planting kisses against her throat and neck. 

Joker sighed, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Guess what,” he murmured. 

Harley sighed happily. “What?” 

“I brought wet wipes!” Joker purred against her ear before shoving his hand into the pocket of his trenchcoat and pulling out a travel size little container of wet wipes. 

Harley giggled. “My hero.” 

Wrinkling his nose Joker opened the container and pulled four of the damp squares out to hand them to her. “Always sweets.” 

They both giggled, cleaning up before Joker hit the button for the elevator to resume moving. 

* 

When the door to the elevator opened and Joker and Harley stepped out, no one reacted. A few seconds after they had exited the elevator, Archie came through the door from the stairs. 

“There you are Archie!” Joker walked over, dropping into a crouch and wrapped his arm around Archie’s shoulders. “Ready to let him know you are the instrument of their destruction?” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Archie muttered looking around at the party with a frown. 

Joker frowned too as he stood up, glancing at Harley who looked disgusted before turning his attention back to the party. 

The thirty-one members of the board of directors and the CEO Chester Bright, were all in various states of drunkenness, high, or nakedness with several of the members involved in having some sort of sexual encounter on the conference table with four prostitutes. There were other naked woman lounging about with some of the other board members, white powder, joints, and other drug paraphernalia laid about the room; the place looked like a modern orgy scene from the movie Caligula, but with a lot of writhing middle-aged men that no one wanted to see naked Harley thought with a shudder as she stared wide eyed at the scene in front of her until she finally had to tear her eyes away. She stuck her tongue out and gagged. 

“Yuck! Puddin...I can’t unsee this!” Harley exclaimed, turning away and throwing her hands over her eyes. 

Joker caught her and wrapped an arm around her to pull her close. Harley buried her face against his neck. “Make it stop!” she muttered. 

Joker rubbed his other hand along her back. “Don’t you worry poo. We’re gonna destroy it, I promise. “ 

Archie looked at the two of them, then asked in his deadpan voice. “So ah, now what?” 

Joker smiled down at Archie. “We make an entrance silly!” 

He released Harley, smiling at her as he took her face in his hands. “Ready sweets?” 

“Can I shoot someone?” she asked with a pout. 

Joker rubbed his nose against hers with a grin. “Of course sweets. Why don’t you announce us?” 

Harley giggled with pleasure and kissed him quickly before she turned around and pulled her gun out. 

“Hey corporate assholes!!” Harley yelled at the top of her lungs before she aimed her gun and shot some pot belly looking executive who stood up, completely naked, his nose and lips covered in white powder looking more confused than startled. 

Harley gagged at the sight of the naked man and shot him in the throat. 

The moment her gun went off, several of the women screamed. The man Harley shot grabbed at his throat, his eyes bugging while he still looked confused. He wrapped his hands around his throat, which looked as if it had sprung a leak, blood gushing between his hands before he dropped to the floor. This was followed by more screaming, not all from the women. 

Everyone got up turning toward the elevators, for a moment they all looked like they might rush the elevators... 

Joker sighed and pulled his guns out. “All right, all right enough!!” he yelled over their frantic behavior. “I’m going to shoot the next person that screams.” 

The room fell silent. 

Joker sighed and smiled. “That’s better. Now...” 

“Look, we got money, drugs...women...whatever you want. I’m sure we can come to some sort of...understanding.” One of the men stepped forward. He had the look of someone who had a lot of plastic surgery done to his face to maintain his looks until he was beginning to have that slightly plastic look to his skin. The man’s hair was thick and brushed back, a dark brown with some grey at the temples. The man smiled, a smile that made Joker feel a little nauseated. 

Glancing down at Archie, Joker asked. “Who’s this?” 

“That’s Chester Bright, the CEO,” Archie growled glaring at the man. 

Chester looked confused, glanced between Joker and Archie. “Ah…” 

Joker smiled brightly, his red lips pulling back to show off his perfect white teeth. “You are in luck Chester. Or you’re not I suppose, it’s all in how you look at things. I mean if I shot you now that might be a mercy, but...anyway. Chester? That’s a horrible name…” He shook his head and continued. “You fired my friend Archie here today and you know he wasn’t happy about it…” Joker shrugged. “I mean I don’t understand myself, accounting? Uck! Why?” He shook himself and sighed. “But you know, to each his own. The Joker doesn’t judge...much.” 

Harley giggled and Joker winked at her. 

“Anyway, Archie, anything you want to say to old Chester here?” Joker gestured with his gun at the CEO who looked terrified. 

Archie ambled over to Chester Bright. It was clear the man had no idea who Archie was, not that he had expected the man to recognize him. Looking Chester up and down, Archie frowned then shook his head and stepped back. 

“Nah, I got nothing to say,” he muttered. 

“Do you want to shoot him?” Joker asked. “I’ll let you use one of my guns…” 

“Nah...I think it’ll be better if Mr. Bright here sees what’s coming.” Archie growled a little. 

Joker laughed. “Oh Archie, you see this is why I love you! So sadistic!!” 

He turned back to Bright. “Well, I just wanted to stop by, tell you that you’re all a bunch of assholes and we’ve set explosives in the building. Bye now!” Joker turned and put his arm out to Harley. “Wanna take the stairs this time? I have a feeling the elevator may be jammed.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Frost has probably disabled it by now.” 

Harley nodded, slipping her arm through Joker’s arm and grinned at him. “Let’s go puddin.” She waved over her shoulder at the party. “Have fun exploding!” 

Archie opened the door to the stairs with Joker and Harley following him, the door slamming shut behind them as the three of them disappeared into the stairwell. 

The group of people didn’t move for a moment, as if shocked into stillness by the surreality of what had just happened. The stillness was broken when someone exclaimed. 

“That was the Joker and Harley Quinn.” 

Chester hissed. “Fuck!” 

He dashed for the elevator and slammed his finger onto the button, but nothing happened. He heard a strange sort of clunking noise on the other side of the doors. One of the other men raced for the door to the stairs. He grabbed the handle and yanked, but the door didn’t budge. 

On the other side of the door Harley had rammed a mop that Archie had brought up with him for the purpose of barring that means of escape. 

Everyone began yelling and screaming as they all struggled with the door and the elevator, but nothing happened. They were trapped. 

It was a minute later that they all heard the sound of a muffled explosion, followed by the entire floor rumbling. 

The screaming started again. 

Chester Bright stood still, his eyes wide as he realized he wasn’t leaving this room tonight. 

* 

Not too far away, Joker and Harley sat on the roof of Frost’s car. Harley was curled against Joker, her head on his shoulder, her arms around his waist. Joker had his arm around her shoulders and was holding her tightly while he smoked a cigarette, a contented smile on his red lips. 

Sitting on the hood of the car was Archie, smoking a cigar, swinging his short legs. Standing next to him on the ground by the vehicle was Frost. On Archie’s other side, leaning against the hood of the car was Bob, who had brought a bag of jellybeans with him to share just for this occasion. The big man was popping the sugary treats into his mouth while he waited with wide eyed expectation. 

They were all looking toward the Bright Accounting Firm’s building just as the first explosion went off. Harley squealed and clapped her hand as that explosion was quickly followed by several others. The deep ‘whumping’ sounds of the explosions going off, one after another filled the Gotham City night along with the bright flash of fire. Over the next three minutes there were several more explosions creating great bursts of fire and debris as the glass from the windows exploded out into the night, followed by jets of fire out of the windows. 

The glass fell, the firelight dancing off of the shards of glass making them glitter and shimmer as they fell to the street below. 

Bob gasped silently and clapped with excitement. 

Clapping her hands with delight, Harley’s eyes were round, her smile wide as the floor of the building where they had set the explosive collapsed followed by the top floor, then like a domino chain reaction, more of the building began to fall. 

Joker grinned brightly, the fire reflecting off his ghost white skin. 

“Isn’t it beautiful Harley?” Joker asked with awe. “So much dullness now gone.” 

Harley nodded laying her head back on his shoulder. “This is so romantic puddin. We should blow up buildings more often.” 

Squeezing her shoulders Joker laid his cheek against her hair. “You’re right Harls, we should.” 

* 

Frost glanced sideways at Archie. “Feel better?” 

Archie shrugged, taking his cigar out of his mouth, and stared at the building where he had worked for so long, now gone, smoke, fire and dust the only thing that remained. 

“Yeah, I think for now…” 

Bob grinned and handed Archie the bag of jellybeans. Archie frowned around his cigar looking at the bag before he shrugged and stuck his hand in pulling out a handful of the colorful candies. 

They all sat watching even as the sounds of sirens replaced the fading sounds from the explosions.


End file.
